I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
