The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
