What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
