Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
