He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
