There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
