please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
