you would pick up someone in the library
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
