right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
