we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
