I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
jump out the window naked night went bad
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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