she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
