We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
