i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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