I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
