just come out here and I will go home with you...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
