Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Is it penis luge time yet?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
