im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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