i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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