No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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