No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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