Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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