This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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