Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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