And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
