I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
