some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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