If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
