I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I came so hard my ears popped.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
