Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
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A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You took a bar mat shot.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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