I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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