That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
