I just made out with a guy for $7.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
