He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
