This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
