Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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