was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
