When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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