now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
