Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize