Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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