I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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