puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
