butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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