Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
