Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
