How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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