I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There's always time for handjobs
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
