I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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