a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
