I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
not ubering you a puppy
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
