can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
