Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
