i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
